A Review of “Exposing the Myth Behind Why Asian Men Can’t Get White Women"
“Exposing the Myth Behind Why Asian Men Can’t Get White Women.”
Well, leave it to this controversial myth to pull me back into the Asian American (AA) blogosphere! Instead of a podcast review, however, I see this as an opportunity to comment on young Asian male confidence (or lack thereof) in the dating game.
The podcast features JT the Asian Playboy and Will the Better Asian Man, two dating coaches who run boot camps and workshops to help men with their game. They specialize in helping Asian men, but have clientele of various ethnicities. JT told me that while the title of the podcast says "White Women," in practice, he and his associates encourage their students to date women of various ethnic backgrounds. JT stated that he chose the title to get your attention.
Say what you will about Asian pick-up artists (PUA). I think there are a lot of young Asian men who need some formalized training to improve their ability to meet, attract and connect with women.
Don't get me wrong: the vast majority of Asian men date around, have meaningful relationships and eventually get married. But there seems to be a significant minority of Asian guys who lack confidence and don't romantically connect until much later in life. It's these guys that could benefit from the training and guidance provided by guys like JT and Will.
In this podcast (which you can download for free at AsianPlayBoy.com), JT goes over the myth of why Asian men can't get white women. He stresses that IT'S A MYTH, one that's perpetuated by false assumptions on the part of both Asian men and white women.
Asian men think, "Oh boo-hoo! Woe is me! She's white, so she doesn't want to date an Asian guy. I'm not worthy!"
White women think, "He's Asian, so I don't think he'd be attracted to a white woman like me. I guess that's why he's not coming over."
Do you see a problem here?
People tend to talk themselves out of playing a game, because they think they can't win. They would rather lose by not trying at all. In the dating game, Asian men aren't being defeated by other men or by women. Asian men are defeating themselves. They would rather save face, be unhappy and bitch about the situation, because being a bitch is easier.
From what I can tell, it's not that hard to attract from women from various ethnicities, not just white or Asian. Attraction is really quite easy. But attraction is only the bottom rung of a ladder. There seem to be a lot of good looking Asian guys who can attract women, but they lack the confidence to approach and romantically connect with them. They don't capitalize on the many opportunities that life presents.
This is what JT and Will go over in their podcast: the mental cages Asian men put themselves in when it comes to dating and romance and the realization that these limiting beliefs, to a large extent, are self-imposed.
For example, JT answers the question, "Do white women not like Asian guys?"
Well his answer may surprise you. Most white women are actually neutral to the idea of dating Asian men. It's really how a man (regardless of race) carries and presents himself that attracts women (of any race). There are PLENTY of non-Asian women who are attracted to Asian men, and to illustrate this, JT relates some of the comments and mail he's gotten from white women in his dealings as a dating coach.
So why do we have this belief that Asian men can't romantically connect with non-Asian women? In the podcast, JT points to a couple of possible reasons:
- Lack of initiative on the part of Asian men.
- As a whole, Asian men weren't taught by their fathers or peers on how to attract, approach and flirt with women.
To listen to the free podcast, sign up for the Asian Playboy's free newsletter at The ABC's of Attraction.
Comments
One, I like how they mentioned moving past negativity. I've stated my position on other AA forums to get past the negative mindset. The Asian Playboy and Better Asian Man discuss this and I think they hit the nail on the head.
It's easy to get into that angry and negative mindset about the way some social dynamics are. But getting constant reinforcement of those ideas and feelings from other message boards and forums doesn't actually help. It's good to blow off some steam, as a catharsis. But I like how they said to leave those places alone for awhile; instead, move forward and don't get caught in the whirlpool of negative emotions.
Recently, I saw some pop psychologist on CNN or MSNBC news commenting on achieving success and one topic was changing the mindset. He provided an example of how dreams of being chased or not being able to accomplish a task has a real physical effect on the body, even though you're dreaming. Yet, it's your mind that is responding to the emotions in the dream that causes the physical effects. The same goes for your waking life. So why not stay on the positive side with your thoughts?
Two, I found it very interesting how they recount the story of a woman saying that her faith in men was restored because of her encounter with him, an Asian guy. That is gold. I like hearing how an Asian guy can be a MUCH better alternative io these white guys who engage in a lot of deception, cheat, and are generally considered sleazy.
It's been my experience that women can sense if a guy's a player and a lot of them are turned off by it. I work with some guys who get a lot of play, but they've hurt a lot of women too. And all the women in my office can sense these guys are sleazy. So women can get jaded a lot by men who disappoint them. But if an Asian guy can "restore" their faith in men, then we just hit paydirt. Our value just went up. And maybe we can slowly see a change in perceptions for the better. And it starts by having confidence and not being afraid to talk to some female.
I know a guy in the military reserves and works for a defense contractor, and he gets decent play just by the sheer force of his personality. Anywhere. He's a black guy and he was stationed over in Bosnia for a time. He had no problem with any racism and spent a lot of time in Budapest dating local white girls. He likes having a good time, enjoys a good laugh, and people want to be around him because of the vibe he gives off. He's not some GQ model either and is only 5'8". He has never thought that he couldn't approach someone just because he was black. And Asian guys shouldn't think that their race holds them back either.
I think most guys learn to romance and date women by stumbling along and failing forward. I don't know of any guy who, as a boy, was taught by dad on how to "pick up chicks." My dad gave me some advice, but for the life of me I don't remember what that advice was. Obviously that piece of advice wasn't very useful.
JT went over kamikaze direct openers in the podcast. I remember telling some girl in class, "You have the most beautiful gray eyes." I just sat there looking deeply into her eyes and smiled.
She was hooked!
of course I had seen her several times before in class, because we sat next to each other. So it wasn't like I approached a total stranger and said this.
Plus if it was in a nightclub or bar, I think the line wouldn't have had the same effect.
But I think there is something to be said about setting the tone early.
I've had people who worked under me or were my peers who were older than me, that I had a hard time being blunt about things. It was because of this level of respect for elders that was so ingrained in me. I've since overcome this, but in terms of dating, it's about giving yourself opportunities and by being confident and NOT being THAT respectful. You can still be gentlemanly, but you've got to be aggressive.
When at a nightclub, the competition can be latin, black, white - where machismo rules the day. You have to step up, or someone else will. I have never felt inferior to anyone when stepping up to a girl and that's what needs to be ingrained in the minds of young Asians today.
If you fail, so what? It's that fear of failure that is going to keep you from being successful...
http://www.happierabroad.com/WinstonWu.htm
http://happierabroad.com/FreethinkingAsian.htm
Is he unique or what? He has an effective but unconventional way of getting white chicks. Look!
http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Collage.htm
Anyway I looked through your stuff, and I found some of your stuff entertaining and logical. Whereas the APB focuses on self-improvement, you focus on changing the environment completely. go where your value is high and in demand.
I say more power to you. But drop the arrogance. You act like you're the second coming of Christ. I agree that most Asians are conformist sheep, but you're not the only Asian male living life on his own terms.
I love how he tries to pitch himself: "Is he unique or what?"
While I'm laughing hysterically, I actually kind of feel sorry for him too.
For anyone who wants to help spread AM/WF to more people, please check out the first AM/WF Erotica book filled with hot AM/WF romance and sensuality available on Amazon Kindle, titled "RICE ON WHITE: AM/WF EROTIC TALES OF FORBIDDEN ADDICTION"
Link:
http://www.amazon.com/RICE-WHITE-Forbidden-Addiction-ebook/dp/B006QXO92U/
Long live AM/WF!