10 Things Asian Dudes Need To Stop Doing Right Now!

We love seeing Asians making progressive strides in society. It gives us a warm feeling when we see an Asian dude and can think to ourselves, "That right there...is a Perfect Asian Dude". Unfortunately, this is few and far between. So we wrote up a list of our current Asian dude pet peeves. Without further adieu, here is our list of 10 Things Asian Dudes Need To Stop Doing Right Now!



1. Being an Armani Exchange hoarder. It's our firm belief that a dude should never spend more money on clothing than their sisters. It's not a crime to wear colors other than black and a billion shades of grey. A similar case can also be made for Abercrombie and Hollister hoarders.





2. Executing the "Chin Up Stare Down" picture pose.

Step One: Throw up gang signs.
Step Two: Tilt chin up and stare down.
Step Three: Make sure not to smile.
Step Four: End up on a blog with the ridiculous ass photo you've just created.


The pink tie obviously represents his gang colors

3. Feathery Anime Hair. Words like tousled, feathered, layered, and even blow-dried should never be used to describe your hair.

She has pretty hair

4. Being a prototypical "Angry Asian". Bitch fests are my least favorite type of "fest". I'd rather be at a sausage fest....at least there's no bitches =P





5. Working out in herds. Because becoming a Ripped Asian Dude is obviously a group effort that requires you to take turns on the bench press and ab wheel every day with your five closest friends. This behavior is especially popular among university students where there's a sizable Asian population



6. Excessive use of the "N word". No matter how much you and your friends may call each other the "N word". No matter how much you love Lil' Wayne and Drake's music. No matter how many fitted NY Yankee's caps you own. No matter what city ghetto your parents decided to immigrate to and raise you in -- you know where I'm going with this.





7. Living the "Asian Thug Life". See number 6 for explanation.

F-F-F-F-F-F-FAG YOU-NET!

8. Substituting "Asian" with "Azn". Be proud of being "Asian", not "Azn". That abbreviation is reserved for Astrazeneca, which can help explain why so many asians are drawn towards pharmacy. This one isn't so gender specific.



9. Wearing colored contacts. Usually worn by the same people who have "azn" in their instant messenger screen name. All the blue-colored contacts in the world can't hide the fact that you're an ugly mother focker. It also amplifies the fact you're a tool. Lose-lose situation.

Sorry brah...she ain't mirin'


10. Believing Video Games > Girls. I enjoy video games as much as the next dude but we believe weekends should be spent gaming......real girls.

Fleshy boobs Digital boobs

If any of these apply to you then for all that is sacred, holy, and PAD, make it a New Years Resolution to stop this behavior at once!


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Comments

J said…
Haha! Funny list dude! The feathery anime hair bugs the crap out of me too.
J said…
And I just went to the gym and saw three Asian dudes working out together:

How Asian Gangsters Pick Up Girls at the Gym
Haha! Glad to see we're not the only guys who notice these things. It's funny cause it's true.
Tommy said…
I had no idea Asians past high school still spelled Asian "Azn" and the anime hair thing was only in the 'motherland' where are these places where these people hang out so I can keep a mental note to avoid them?
I know most people my age (mid twenties) never bothered changing their screennames from back in the day and still have names like "AznBoi26" or "blAZN85".

The anime hair is mainly in the motherlands but it's been brought to the US. It's a very reliable indicator that someone is a FOB. Take a walk around any Chinatown or Koreatown and witness the glory.
Tommy said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tommy said…
Haha.. I was under the impression that a large minority of American borns did that. Also went to a car show the other day and saw numbers 1,2,6 and 7. Bunch of Asian guys about my age *early 20's* wearing suits and ties in front of a Lexus. I was laughing so hard thinking to myself "just because you dress like you *think* you can afford it, doesn't mean you can. They might as well be holding up signs saying "Yes, the stereotype IS true, I'm totally overcompensating for my tiny dick."

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