9 Laws of Power for the Alpha Asian
I run into a lot of nice guys. And being that I'm Asian, I know a lot of nice guys who happen to be Asian. There are 2 types of nice guys:
1) Nice guys that everybody respects (nice guy alpha).
2) Nice guys that nobody respects (nice guy beta).
Nice guy alphas tend to be leaders who lead with a gentle but firm touch. Their word is their bond. When they say they will do something, they do it. They are decisive and confident in their actions, because they adhere to clear moral and ethical principles. They consider all options, but they don't waffle or hesitate. They're not overly aggressive or abrasive in their style. They are gentlemen in every sense of the word.
Nice guy betas are best described by this Heartless Bitch with plenty of experience with supposed nice guys:
"What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.
"Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one.
"Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner."
Although this woman is talking about nice guys in the context of relationships, I think nice guy betas function this way in their dealings with other people as well. They don't make decisions, because they don't want the blame and responsibility if their decisions are wrong. They're passive aggressive, because they can't handle confrontation. They don't speak up when shit happens, and yet they'll bitch about stuff behind your back. And because of this, nice guy betas are prone to victimization.
It seems like a lot Asian guys are nice guys, both alpha and beta. On one hand, this is not surprising, because Asian cultures stress harmonious relations. On the other hand, it is rather strange that there are so many nice Asian guys who don't have social game. They don't have seem to have calculating strategic minds to survive and thrive in a socio-political world.
I say this is strange, because East Asia has a long history of warfare and politics and a lot of classic Asian military texts (i.e. Art of War) teach strategic thinking. So you would think some of this strategic thinking would have seeped down the generations and had some influence on how Asian Americans play social game. You would think there wouldn't be so many nice guys who walk through life like sheep and then become roadkill. Nice guys are way too trusting, so they get blindsided by more cunning and devious people.
The modern Asian guy is too nice. I find too many Asians make self-deprecating racial jokes in an effort to get on the good side of non-Asians. They use pre-emptive racism. They think that by becoming deferential and obsequious yellow lap dogs, that they will earn the respect of white people.
No one respects a person who does not respect himself. You can't be a nice guy all the time. You have to turn on the asshole switch every so often, so that people don't fuck with you. Below are a few principles to follow when playing a cut throat social-political game. They work best in highly political environments where people jockey for position and power.
1) You don't always have to win. You just have to make them bleed. You may not win every fight, but if you hurt your opponent badly, then people will think twice about messing with you.
2) People don't always remember what you did or what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel. If you make someone feel like shit, then he or she will remember this feeling everytime they see you or think of you. So don't make people feel like shit. Don't demean them or be condescending. Because...
3) In the game of life, you'll play in many different arenas, and you won't always have home field advantage. So alway be a gracious host. Just because you're expert in one or two things, doesn't give you license to act like a douchebag. You may encounter a situation where you'll need someone else's expertise.
4) Befriend the stragglers. There are always stragglers in every environment, people who are outcasts for some reason. People normally shun outcasts and treat them like crap, so when you treat them nicely and respectfully, then these stragglers become your allies. One straggler is not necessarily enough to tip the balance of power in your favor, but if you befriend enough stragglers, then you will command considerable influence among the group.
5) Allies need not be controlled. They just need to be unleashed. You may not want to be in a protracted war with someone, especially if that someone is more powerful. Someone else, however, may be motivated to do the dirty work for you. And if this is the case, then such people just need to be unleashed. Once they're loose, however, you'll have no control over them. But if you're fighting a guerilla war against a superior enemy, then you really don't need to control your allies. You're just trying to create havoc for your opponent by unleashing as many wild dogs as you can. Your opponent will be busy dealing with them as opposed to you.
6) Don't have blood on your hands. The advantage of unleashing others to do your dirty work is that it allows for plausible deniability. Someone did it, not you. And you may not have any knowledge of what's been going on, because your ally is operating independently of you.
7) Do not let disrespect go unpunished. If someone disrespects you in front of others, then it sets a dangerous precedent for people to follow. Address it immediately.
8) Don't make deals with the Devil. If you sell your soul to preserve your hide, then you're stuck in perpetual debt. You're now a slave, and the price for your freedom will just get higher and higher as time goes on. So don't be someone else's bitch.
9) Destroy your enemies completely. Once you start a war with someone, then it's best that you eliminate him from the playing field. If you don't, then he or she could rise up from the aftermath and eliminate you or make your life a living hell. If you cannot eliminate an opponent, then you should at least break his will to fight (see point #1).