You are not alone
"What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there is something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it is there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad."
- Morpheus
Hey you! Out there in the cold
Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me?
Hey you! Standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles, can you feel me?
Hey you! Don't help them to bury the live
Don't give in without a fight...
- Pink Floyd
Hey you. You are a fellow Asian American brother. Here, in the New World, there is no Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean, Filipino, Vietnamese, Japanese, Cambodian, Laotian, or what have you. We don't have time for bullshit. Here, we all speak English, and share a common experience. And if you are a fellow brother, who has lived through what might be called the Asian American Male Experience, and are still standing...congratulations. This is what we are here to talk about.
Maybe you are still in school or maybe you are like me, neck-deep in the "Real World". You go about your daily life reading magazines, newspapers, watching TV, listening to the radio. You spend a great deal of your time absorbing what other people think or say. People, who for the most, have a different mentality and worldview than you. Going on and on about things that you quite frankly don't give a damn fuck about most of the time.
When were YOU, an Asian American man, the primary intended audience of anything in particular and not just, at best, a mere after-thought? When was the last time you heard or saw anybody specifically dedicated to speaking on your behalf, as an Asian American man? When was the last time you saw or heard anything...anything...that spoke true to our experience and that which validate our existence? About issues which affect us and concerns that matter most deeply to us?
You are a member of a group that is one of the least acknowledged in society and simultaneously, one of the least likely to stand up to do anything about it. Well, fellas, that's got to change.
I believe that the average Asian American man goes through a life of quiet desperation, carrying some heavy burdens. You know what I am talking about. I also believe that the average Asian-American man struggles largely in isolation.
Who can really understand our thoughts, frustrations, fears, doubts, worries, pain...our confusion? Do we even talk about things and try to see where we stand with each other, fellow Asian American brothers, and not just in the safety and anonymity of virtual space, but in meetspace as well, face-to-face, within our own personal domains? I am not sure if that is happening.
Who can really understand our thoughts, frustrations, fears, doubts, worries, pain...our confusion? Do we even talk about things and try to see where we stand with each other, fellow Asian American brothers, and not just in the safety and anonymity of virtual space, but in meetspace as well, face-to-face, within our own personal domains? I am not sure if that is happening.
You are an embattled Asian American man, trying to make some sense of the world that he lives in, wondering if there anyone out there who feels him. You are frustrated with yourself as well as with society. You long for times of refreshing yet you endure long periods of emotionally barren droughts. You are sick and tired of "business-as-usual", the uncoordinated anger, and some of the blatant stupidity that can exist, in most of the Asian American forums that you haunt on a regular basis.
Gentlemen, we have some tough issues. We need to bring a new level of intelligence and maturity to our discussions. We need innovative thinkers, opinionaters, and doers...folks who can think outside of the box, because that is what it's gonna take to solve our problems. The road to empowerment, both individually and collectively, starts with ourselves.
Let's help each other, fellow Asian American brothers. You are not crazy. There's more than enough of us out there who feel the same things, experience the same struggles. We can't all be crazy. Let's start expressing ourselves but with maturity and dignity. Let's be real with ourselves also. Be very VERY real. Let's poll our collective thoughts, wisdom, and experience. Let's challenge one another.
A tough world is easier to face if one knows that there are many others like him out there who share the same thoughts and feel the same pain. Let's help each other in the spirit of mutual encouragement and uplifting. Because if we don't do that for ourselves....who will?
- Kobukson
Let's help each other, fellow Asian American brothers. You are not crazy. There's more than enough of us out there who feel the same things, experience the same struggles. We can't all be crazy. Let's start expressing ourselves but with maturity and dignity. Let's be real with ourselves also. Be very VERY real. Let's poll our collective thoughts, wisdom, and experience. Let's challenge one another.
A tough world is easier to face if one knows that there are many others like him out there who share the same thoughts and feel the same pain. Let's help each other in the spirit of mutual encouragement and uplifting. Because if we don't do that for ourselves....who will?
- Kobukson
Comments
As you can I've added another blogger to the site. I've been blogging as a single blogger for some time, and I although I enjoy it, it's rather tiring fighting the fight for Asian American male respect by myself.
I was so impressed with Kobukson's comments at the Minority Militant blog, that I asked him to be blogger:
I think many Asian guys just struggle quietly in isolation, don't talk about things out of fear of embarrassment, deny their own feelings out of fear of what other people, even close friends might think, don't really take any concrete steps to do anything about it, and just wallow in perpetual self-pity and pessimism. This is not healthy. If we cannot discuss this issue even amongst ourselves, who can we speak with?
We need forums and outlets, by Asian men for Asian men, where we can just speak our mind, honestly and plainly, with the condition that they be coherent, rational, reasonably articulate and not some loose cannon filled with spastic hate either. To be able to talk freely, like free men, without fear of being hunted down by the ever present Political Correctness gestapo.
But even though Asian male angst is justified, I find that we have largely turned into a race of overanalyzing, neurotic Woody Allen's, but with none of the humor. Even though indulging in bouts of misogyny is emotionally satisfying...at the end of the day, it hasn't helped you to find happiness or answers that you are looking for. Griping about Hollywood or some other thing that makes Asian males look ridiculous? Fine, so you get on your favorite Asian forum, bitch about it, maybe even write an angry letter to some faceless media executive who may or may not care...OK, done. Now what?
As much as some of you may love to hate on the Asian male PUA movement, they have realized a thing or two about our condition that many others haven't, or are in denial of. Don't misunderstand me here, I am not here to advocate for PUA services. I, too, seriously question their motives and think they are turning Asian male insecurity into a profitable little cottage industry. But here's what they have realized:
1. much of the problems of the Asian man are self-caused.
2. rather than impotently lashing out at society, racism, and blaming others (which really does little to solve anything), Asian men can choose to take responsibility for his own fate, and choose to grow, learn, mature, and shed old modes of thinking.
nice post. There is a lot that you address in it and one thing that I don't like seeing either is some of our brothers turning into neurotic, overanalyzing, Woody Allen types.
Community IS important because it's such a nice change of pace to have a dialog with others where you don't have to explain yourself all the time.
I also think that if one wants to affect change, it has to begin with one's self. You have to put thought into action. Your actions help create reality. Like you said, wallowing in self pity and despair isn't healthy.
We have to take control over our own lives and create the destinies we want for ourselves. I'm as fed up with the shitty media images we have as anyone else and I've decided I have to do my part to control our images. I've been struggling with writing a screenplay or a book that is based on one of my true work experiences in federal law enforcement. I know right now that Hollywood never make this the way I want it, so it has to be done by film makers who are sympathetic to the story and believe in letting an Asian male be one of the leads.
Hollywood ain't gonna do it for us and pissisng and moaning about it gets you nowhere. So we have as well do it OURSELVES.
That sounds awesome, dude. A crime drama with an Asian American federal agent as the lead would be compelling on so many levels. Are you looking to write the screenplay and have some indie film makers produce and direct it?
I think what I'd like for the Alpha Asian blog to develop into is a place where Asian American men and Asian men in Western nations all over the world can converse and exchange ideas and advice on how to better ourselves and to further the respect for our image.
When it comes down to it, this is what we're all griping about as Asian men: lack of respect. Lack of respect from non-Asians, lack of respect from Asian women and lack of self-respect. If we want others to respect us, then we have to respect ourselves and part of that self-respect means we got to help each other out. We each have our expertise. let's bring that expertise to the table and share it with our Asian brothers.
And I believe we've mentioned this before that a lot of Asian American films get hung up on story lines involving the "Asian American" experience. Or the stories just aren't that interesting. That's fine, at least they're doing something and creating a document of self expression that reflects true to them. But what I'm trying to do is to present a Asian American male lead role that doesn't focus on the ethnicity. It is simply a story where the lead just happens to be Asian. Similar to Justin Lin's "Better Luck Tomorrow". He didn't focus so much on the characters' backgrounds and instead just let the story speak for itself.
And if anyone tries to tell me that the screenplay (or book) is unrealistic, then I'd tell them to go fuck themselves. It's based on a true story (it has to be for legal reasons) and I was there every step of the way in dismantling a criminal network that was diverse in its makeup. The co-lead role is based on ME and the other co-lead is my partner who happens to be white.
Moreover, you touched upon something that I was going to write about and post here. You know, that's one of the purposes of blogging and engaging in these social networks. This forum CAN be a place to bring people together to do exactly what you propose. We have to have more fellowships and communities, more networks, to get these positive images of Asian males out there.
Hey thanks. Feel free to lend your voice to this blog.
Awesome article. Echoes straight from my heart and mind, but much much more eloquent and organized.
James,
if there's only a way we all can meet and greet (underground). I am very inpsired by you and your contributors. I think we are starting to wake up to the issues affecting us Asian Brothers. I have read Kobukson's articulate comments over and over and it feels like a mission statement. Thanks.
You and I can barely meet every few months, and we work at the same place. Everybody here is from a different part of the world. I think we can do a free conference call where we can formulate a game plan, which I have in mind. I say "free" conference call, because lord knows nothing stops a revolution like expenses.