Who Are You - Part 1
One thing we agreed upon, since we're both in public service, is that the the bureaucracy is broken and that how we deal with it is dependent upon understanding who we are dealing with. In addition, we both were in agreement that you can't ever change anyone; instead, you have to change your response to that person. We both laughed because we finished each others' sentence. And that we both talked about how we seemed to know ourselves pretty well.
I thought I'd take the time to post a thread about the topic of self-knowledge.
In my younger days, I use to think that psychology was too theoretical, cold and clinical. And a lot this self-help pop psychology was pure crap. I suspect that some of it really is crap but that there are some things that really are useful and helpful. But I think it's actually rather helpful in the work place, which I'll get to a little later.
The best part is getting to know yourself---honestly. So what does that actually mean? It means knowing how and why you react the way you do to certain circumstances. You can lie to others but you cannot lie to yourself.
A good place to start is http://www.personalitypage.com/html/info.html. It has a nice Jungian view of personality archetypes and the Myer-Briggs types. They describe 16 personality types: http://www.personalitypage.com/html/portraits.html. But keep in mind that the personality types described are not set in stone. There is no cookie cutter mold. Rather, these are general tendencies that people have and they can also have traits from other personality types.
Most people think of personality types in terms of introvert and extrovert but there's much more going on inside people. It's actually kind of fun to look at the list of personalities and find the one that best describes you. Of course, it's equally as interesting to take a personality exam. When I did this some years ago, I was actually surprised by how accurately the personality type described me.
It's good to know your personality type because you can therefore confront the weaknesses you might be afraid to address. It forces you to examine yourself in a different light. At the very least, you have an awareness about the things you might want to improve upon as an individual. And this is important in the workplace because you can anticipate and prepare for being placed in a work situation or project which will exacerbate your weaker qualities.
You might work on a group assignment in the office where some people are naturally the take charge types. And that might rub you the wrong way if you're a more creative, intuitive type and you have some people telling you what to do---and you think it's all wrong. But assessing your co-workers personality type, you can sort of figure out where the conflicts will be and how best to avoid them.
Remember: you can't control or change someone but you can change the way you react to them. If you know a certain co-worker will not understand a certain viewpoint because it clashes with how they view and process the world, change the way the viewpoint is presented so that it's something that fits in with how they do see the world. This is especially good to know if your personality types will fundamentally clash, if they're polar opposites.
The point here is to avoid conflicts and confrontations.I once had a supervisor who was quite possibly the worst I've ever had. He was spiteful, he gossiped about and bad mouthed the staff behind their backs, he couldn't give you guidance and was impatient all the time. He made life hell for me and my co-workers. He was someone you could never quite please. Had I known more about personality types back then, I'd have certainly defused situations by having more than one draft assignment to turn in. I would've anticipated that he might not like the product so I would have had several other products to turn in if he didn't like the original one.
Furthermore, I'd have accepted that the problem isn't me, wasn't me, but that it's him. If I'd had pegged his personality type, I would have been better equipped to engage him on a much different approach to problem solving that would have lessened the impatience, the quick judgments, and him being dismissive of my work. Still, it wouldn't have made working for the guy any less of a hell, but you take your workplace victories where you can.
Comments
yeah, I think most people don't have a good sense of who they really are and how they come across to other people. it's painful for most people to admit that they have faults that need to be worked on. On the flip side, many people don't give themselves enough credit for their strengths.
Once you're honest with yourself about who you are and what you like and don't like, then people will respect that. if you say one thing, but your action indicate something else, then nobody is going to respect that.
isn't that the truth, though? that a lot of people lack self-awareness? i think things like the Myer Briggs exam can help someone gain self knowledge. when they run down the list of your strong and weak attributes, you know what situations will bring out your weaker attributes and how you're likely to behave when put into conflict or unhappy situations. And this isn't just for the workplace; I think this can apply to one's personal life as well, how you interact with others.
For example, a family member of mine are completely different. The things we value, the things that make us what we are in direct conflict with one another. This person is the oblivious type that doesn't even know that they're insulting you or being condescending.
Since I know who they are, personality wise, I know not to take the bait. What's the point? I could get into arguments with this relative but it's useless. This person is incapable of seeing thru my eyes. It isn't easy at times. On occasions, I have to sometimes bite my tongue. But in the end, I walk away knowing that I'm the wiser and more spiritually developed human being. Besides, narcissists never believe they do anything wrong.